Fantasy Matches No 1
English FA playmaker Charles "Chazza Hughes" stands by his conviction that the English have nothing to learn from the Brasilians and aims to prove the point using his statistically flawless theory of direct football.This is so simple that even the FA committee can understand it: Sir Bert hoists the ball forward and Kelly does a headless chicken impersonation in an attempt to get on the end of it. "They don't like it up 'em",pronounces Chazza. Piloting his zimmer frame alongside Kelly is Mathuselah - renowned as the wizard of the dribble ,but only because it's a trick that he menages at most mealtimes,unfortunately. The rest of the lads ,as ever,are only along for the complimentary tickets and after-match tuck-in.
Pele confesses concern about playing against a team with a such slender grup on reality: " Has your 'care in the community' come to this?" he ask. " Leaving your senior citizens to wander aimlessly about Lancaster Gate without proper supervision ? They might do anithing"
Pele needn't worry himself,however,since the FA are not likely to do anything much at all,save gater dust.
VERDICT The usual embarrassment ,they it's back to the abacus for Chazza,I'm afraid.
RESULT:
English FA - 0
Brasil ------ 30 something
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